Held to ransom

Now don't go thinking this is some surreal story about highwaymen or Robin Hood but it is a story about being held to ransom, by a spider of epic proportions....

Imagine the scene, the household are all tucked up in their beds (except Doodles but more of that in a minute..) even the dogs are soundly asleep and the place is quiet with a capital Q.

I'm awoken by the sound of mumbled shouting, yes I'm aware that doesn't make sense but hear me out!

Apparently Doodles has had a late night on the computer in the ever so wonderful world of warcraft, after finishing on the laptop he ambles off to the bathroom to brush le teeth. Merriment ensues.

Whilst the toothbrush is in his mouth he spots a spider on the wall, not any old spider but one of the massive house spiders that like to wander about in the autumn. He mumbles something at the top of his voice while the toothbrush is still firmly in le mouth-

"Moley mell, qwat der muckletisdatmuddertrucker?"

Well at least that's what it sounded like, this leaves me WIDE awake because
i. Somebody is mumbling at the top of their voice yo!
ii. Doodles NEVER swears.

Which means it must be something bad.

I shout out and ask him what is wrong and he yells back that it's a mahoosive spider!
Cue me firmly slapping the husband awake to go and rescue us from this intruder. By the time the husband has got there it had scuttled away so torches were brought in and crevices all over the bathroom were examined..
Nothing, zip, nada, negatory good buddy on the spider front.

So, doing what any normal family would do - we shut the bathroom door, shut all of our bedroom doors and went to the kitchen to wash our hands if we need the toilet during the night.

Yes. We. Are. Cowards.

It finally turned up a couple of days later. Me and the husband came home to find the sucka on the floor on the dining room, covered by a vase that Doodles had managed to get on top of it as it trundled past at warp speed.....

We've had two more since then, one that the little dog was caught playing with and had eaten by the time I had gotten something to get it out of the house with (URGH!)

And one that became toilet flush fodder.

Held to ransom. Totally.

Here's a picture of a rabbit and a kitty to take your mind off it....