{this moment}

Joining SouleMama for {this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savour and remember.

Reflection

I have been thinking, searching, struggling and hoping for the last few weeks.

I guess also, there has been a lot of reflecting going on as well.

A friend sent me a link to a website where people had uploaded letters to their inner/ former 16 year old. It was called Dear Me

Anyhoo, I decided to give this a go but with a twist - a letter to my future self....

Here it is :)

Dear Me,

Hopefully this letter will reach me when life is peachy keen. When the image I have of myself has become a reality, when fear doesn’t control our life...

So, future me- I picture you smiling. Your hair is long and glossy and swishes when you turn your head.

Did I mention the smile??

Your smile is an easy invitation to be around you. You haven’t lost your sense of humour or your empathic nature - they’re just a couple of things that draw people to you.

Plus you don’t mind mixing with people, you enjoy company and aren’t scared to mingle anymore. You actively seek people out nowadays.

And you’ve lost enough weight so that you’re comfortable in your own skin. I’d go so far as to say you are sparkly and glowing.

Also you’ve found a community that you can belong to, dipping in and out of - if and when you please.

The kids are happy, smiling and laughing. Enjoying their lives. Satisfied and not yearning for something they can’t have.

Really loving the path their lives are taking them on.

Shermil is relaxed and content. Not striving to make more money or think that he needs to provide more anything and everything for us. He laughs a lot. The stress doesn’t sit on his shoulders anymore like a little child tired of walking too far.

We travel a lot to far flung places where the roots of banyan trees hide doorways into temples that are cool, dark and almost forgotten.

We ride planes, trains, tuk tuks, elephants - all types of vehicles that help us explore the hidden and mysterious - the garish and loud - the serene and tranquil.

Places that this beautiful world is desperate for us to see.

I can’t wait to meet you, future me.....

I think we’ll get along just fine. You’ll sooth my anxiety riddled brain, you’ll kiss my furrowed brow and gently whisper in my ear, “Just trust. It’s going to be alright. Life is meant for living and loving. You are perfect the way you are. Try not to rush - you can be and see more clearly at a slower speed. Remember how loved you are, okay?”

And then my shoulders will stop being so tense and reposition themselves from their usual ‘up around my ear’ location to a more natural place... My jaw will stop clenching and aching because it doesn’t need to anymore because hey, the stress has gone! The anxiety will fade into a distant memory and we’ll remember to breath, live, enjoy and experience.

All that peace and happiness WITHOUT any medications.

And you’ve finally finished crocheting Loll’s festival poncho :)

I love you,

Me xx