Awkward...

Well, lets all discuss the most awkward places to suddenly remember that your dear Dad is, in fact dead and not just on some everlasting holiday...

a.  During an episode of all singing, all dancing 'Glee.'
b. In the cinema whilst watching Hansel and Gretel.
c. Tesco's - bread and cakes aisle...
d. Outside Marks and Spencer's in a big shopping mall cos they didn't have the right coloured rose bouquet and his spirit might not like the peach ones - I always get the yellow ones.
e. At the gym, on the treadmill.

 To mention but a few.

And folks, when I say "remember" what I actually mean is burst into horrendous, sobbing tears. The kind that you don't know if it's snot or tears rolling down your face.

I miss that man. I miss that he missed my big birthday. And the mahoosive banner the kids strung between the houses! And that my awesome husband's got game and whisked me away for a lovely get-away in the Lake District, just the 2 of us. Or the fact that my birthday went on being celebrated for a whole week :)

I dream about him (my beloved Dad) every night and have done since about a week after the funeral. Last night I dreamt his car was broken so he had a Porsche Cayenne???

I'm making him a thousand cranes. A dedication from my heart.

Windermere

Birthday flowers!

LaLa and Doodles doing the birthday things :)

The end result! And yes, I am wearing a tiara!

Any guesses on how old I was??

New fire-pit for relaxing evenings :) *happy

Big brother and me

Ups and downs, mountains and molehills, peaks and troughs.

Things are all higgledy-piggledy around here at the moment. We've had another birthday - Doodles has reached the grand ol' age of 16, my how time flies.
We had food and outings with a side order of shopping and cake to finish the day off nicely. Actually the cake came the next day as we decided we wanted to have our cake and eat it whilst watching Dr Who. What a brilliant combo, chocolate cake and a time lord.

Then came Monday, off to the hospital to get my machine...... I'm not a big fan of my machine, it's to regulate my breathing over night as I apparently have a tendency to stop breathing when I'm asleep. The machine blows air through a mask and it's decidedly unbecoming. In fact I look like Bane from the latest Batman film.
Grim, very grim.

Tuesday brought tears and sobbing. I miss my Dad so much it really hurts. I've even had Sherm record Dad's answer phone message so that I can listen to his voice whenever I want to.
I think it was a mixture of having the kids' birthdays and the machine and him just not being there. I know it'll get better and that I probably need this time to grieve but it doesn't make it any easier.

Since LaLa is now 18 she is off out a lot, we miss her but also love the fact that she's out there enjoying life and having fun. It's is a special age when the world is your oyster and life is just there for living!
Dancing, parties, friends, boyfriend, work, college. I remember that age well and truth be told, don't feel old enough to have a daughter of 18...

This is his Ninja pose apparently.

Life, it's all still a journey eh?

After.

Before.

How much do you think my Dad is a Galileo lookalike!