Passed away suggest he just went for a walk.... But he didn't, he died and won't be coming back.
I hurt in a way that just doesn't feel sustainable. Surely it must start to fade soon, this unimaginable feeling of being set adrift and sorrow.
I miss him so much.
I wrote this down for the celebrant who conducted his funeral, he asked for some info about this great, wonderful man whom I was lucky enough to have as my father....
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| A great man. |
First thing you noticed about my Dad was his beard and ponytail! I loved the fact that he looked so different.
He was a quiet man, shy and humble. People underestimated him as he was so self-effacing but once you took the time to get to know him, he was not only smart but incredibly funny and he had a wicked sense of humour which he unleashed not often enough for my liking!!!
Kind hearted. Knowledgable, intelligent and wise, there’s a big difference between knowing a lot and being wise enough to know when, where and how to use that knowledge - Dad knew the difference.... He was my counsel in all aspects of my life and always gave me the benefit of his experience.
Loving Father, DIY guru, helped us ALL out around our houses - be it plumbing, bricklaying, installing new kitchens, central heating systems!! You name it, he could do it. And if he didn’t know he’d soon learn whatever it was.
Worshipped his 2 grandchildren, who called him Gar. Lauren (nearly 18) and Cam (nearly 16), he instilled in Lauren a love for art that she has continued with throughout her life and he was so proud to learn of her great accomplishments at college and that she’d secured her place at university. From her being about age 5 he would sit with her at the kitchen table and gently guide her as she discovered how to paint and create.. A shared passion for them both. He also knew instinctively how to calm her down if she was stressed or worried and she would turn to him for advice that he’d give freely.
And now to his grandson, Cam.... They were like 2 peas in a pod. Not only family but best friends too. Sharing a love of not only each other but numerous hobbies... trains, sudoku, computers and more than anything - each others company. They spent lots of time trying to beat their latest sudoku time or chatting about family history. Cam spent a lot of his time with his beloved “Gar.” It was well known by friends and family that Cam would go down to Gar’s house several times a week and especially for tea every Saturday and each week it would be the same meal - chicken in white wine sauce! “Gar” also taught him how to do diy jobs too and Cam complained most vocally recently, when he saw our attempts at plastering as his Gar had taught how to do it properly and on a ceiling at that!!!
He was a bit of a Dr Dolittle and all animals seemed to love him! He would even charm bees and wasps that had gone off course and flown into the kitchen into leaving by telling them “come on now Fred, out you go, you’re in the wrong place, right a bit, right a bit, nearly there...” and off they would go as if by magic. More recently he used to enjoy getting ‘marmalised’ by our puppy Sprocket who loved to play with his beard given half a chance - this used to be fine when he was a 3 month old puppy but as soon as Sprocket started approaching 9 stone we had to reign him in a bit and Dad used to end up covered in slobber but with his beard in tact.
He has had many pets over the years and most of them were probably his idea but he let us think we were the ones that wanted them!
He did like to keep things incase they came in handy and to be honest all of his stuff was a bit of an Arkwright’s emporium and in didn’t matter how fanciful the item was...he probably had one of it at least...
I loved the fact that he really loved my husband and he and Shermil would while away the hours on a Saturday night (as they were both night owls) talking about everything and nothing, putting the world to rights and laughing at unimportant stuff. Time they both looked forward to, I’d be sat on the settee and as soon as it got to 11.45pm on a Saturday, Sherm would text Dad to make sure it was ok for him to go down and the replying text would turn up in seconds saying “sure, door’s unlocked” and off Shermil would go for his weekly social!
Mostly he showed me what being a great parent was all about by treating me kindly and gently and guiding me without me even knowing it.
Very loved and very missed.
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| My best boys.... |
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| Me and my Pa |
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| Jitsuqueen & Gar |
I am so sorry about your Dad. My Daddy died 10 years ago. It doesn't get any easier, but you learn to live with it.
ReplyDeleteMy father-in-law died 8 years ago.
My Mum died on May 4, 2012. That has not been easy, either, but at least my parents are together again. There are days I feel like I can't handle it. There are days where I just sob.
My mother-in-law died exactly 3 weeks after my Mum.
I still can't believe they are dead.
It's so difficult isn't it. Hugs to you. xx
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